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Crying It Out Isn't Working - We Need Some New Ideas!

by The Walkers
(Mississippi)

Hi, I have an 8 month old baby girl who dropped night bottles on her own (not as early as it seemed other babies did but we did NOT have to make her "cry it out" which we liked). We always did a bed time routine and put her down drowsy but awake (occasionally she would fall asleep during last bottle and we laid her down asleep but ALWAYS without much trouble).


If she was really sleepy she would drift straight off, if not she would play with paci and babble herself to sleep. Only problem was with naps. She would, like clockwork, wake up after 30 mins, didn't seem very rested and would be sleepy again in an hour and a half and start to be fussy (she is an extremely happy baby).

So after reading some materials we felt she really needed more sleep at nap time to be fully rested and decided to let her cry it out when she would wake after 30 mins. The longest she ever cried was 20 minutes and after just a few days she was sleeping an hour, then an hour and a half, then 2 hour naps.

Hearing her cry was hard but not as traumatic as I had expected since it was just 20 mins of crying day 1, 11 mins day 2 and then 3rd day she only cried about 7 minutes.

We seemed to be doing great and then at 7 months she started crying when we would put her down to sleep (naps & bedtime). So we thought we would let her cry it out and in a few days, like with the naps she would learn that it's time to sleep and go back to the way she was.

Well it's been 3 weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting ANY better. She screams, sits up, pulls up on rails, if you try to give her the paci she pulls it out and throws it. We are 1st time parents and honestly have no idea what we are doing but I seem to be crying as much as her now! I just can't take her crying anymore.

I know she is not hungry, no dirty diaper. I have wondered about teething but don't really think that's it b/c I have (the last couple nights) gone in and picked her up and rocked her and she is fine and goes right back to sleep (until you lay her down).

I only went in and picked her up because she had cried for a solid hour and I just refuse to let her cry any longer than that.

Like all parents we want to do what is best for her. We want her to sleep well and wake rested, we don't want her to cry (unnecessarily), we want her to be happy and feel safe and secure. I had no real issues with the crying it out method when I thought it would only last a few days but I don't want her to cry herself to sleep every single day!

We have also tried going in and consoling her during crying but when she sees us it seems to just make her scream more! We lay her down and try to calm her and she just keeps getting back up, pulling on our arms. We would have to physically hold her down to keep her laying down.
Please, please help us!!

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How can I make my baby happy?

I have a 5 week old little girl who does not seem happy. I was breastfeeding her but she could not seem to latch on correctly (there was always a click sound) and would projectile spit up and have horrible gas. I am not pumping and giving her 3 ounces at a time. She is only lasting 2 hours (if that). The spit up has gotten better but she still screams 10-30 minutes after eating.

The other issue is 6-10 pm at night. She screams and screams and screams and nothing seems to help. If I give her 3 more ounces she settles for 10 minutes but then belts out the screams until she is utterly exhausted and falls asleep.

I have tried swaddling, rocking, pacifiers, singing, swings, bouncy seats...you name it.
Through the day she wants held at all time. She may lay by herself for 20-30 minutes a time or two. The rest of the day I have to hold her or put her in a carrier.

Can someone help me? I worry she is so unhappy and the screaming will get me kicked out of my apartment.
Thanks!!!

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Help! My Baby Isn't Bonding with Me

I have a baby 14 months old. I stared going back to my work when he was 5.5 months old. Daily I get 3-4 hours only with my baby due to work. I spend my time running after him trying to cuddle him,take care of him, play and feed him. He enjoys those times. But he still does not come to me. He prefers to be with his grandparents who takes care of him when I'm away at work.

I try to be close but he keeps pushing me off like a stranger. My husband-his dad stays in a different place due to his works and comes home every weekend. My kid goes to him and cries if his dad does not pick him up, cuddle him and play with him. I feel quite neglected, upset and feel he does not need me. He even went to his grand-uncle though they have met only 2 or 3 times and that too for only 1 or 2 hours. I have to force him to come to me. Every day I run after him craving for his attention. It looks he likes guys more than ladies.

Please suggest as how I can bond better with him. I discussed with my mom this matter. She says I'm doing my best and he will start coming to me soon. I'm not happy still. HELP ME,please.

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Crying it out not working

by Kris
(Cleveland OH)

My 7 month old wakes up every night at the same time. We allow him to cry it out but he is still waking at the same time. We have been doing this since he was about 4 months old.

I followed the advice about a routine every night with a bath at 7:30 then his last bottle at around 8 and put him in bed awake at 8:30. At 8:30 he will usually cry for about 3 to 5 minutes and then falls asleep.

He then wakes around 1:00 am so we let him cry it out then he wakes again about 3:00 am and again we let him cry it out. He will cry for between 5 and 10 minutes. Then when he wakes at around 4:30 we will give him a bottle and put him to bed where he will then cry for about a minute before he falls back asleep and sleeps another 2 to 3 hours.

I'm confused that crying it out isn't working since we've been doing this for a couple of months and always read it should fix the waking after at least a week. Any help is appreciated.

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Hours of Crying... What Should We Try?

by Karli
(Eagan, MN)

I'm a first time mother and am finding is hard to soothe my 1 month old son. He goes through these crying bouts of 1-4 hours sometimes multiple times daily. His cries are piercing where his grandma along with his parents are worried about if they can harm him.

He is a more fussy baby since he was born (breast feeding has been a battle since he was born, etc) however lately it has been becoming more and more difficult to soothe him. We switched to lactose free formula to go along with the breast milk bottle feedings in the case this caused a tummy ache, but again this hasn't helped him.

I keep being told that as long as he does eat enough and has wet/soiled diapers he is fine by doctors. My mom and family are concerned that he is crying too much and may have an underlying issue. I just believe there must be something to do, as he can't be a happy baby crying like this.

Any advice? We are open to anything!

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