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Sex After a C Section

As eager as you both are for "intimacy," take your time before having sex after a C section. Your body has be subjected to some severe (although rewarding) trauma. Sex has to be set aside for a while as your body rebuilds.

Why do you need to wait before having sex after a cesarean section?

  • Your uterus needs to deflate back to normal size and cease bleeding.
  • Just as your hormones zoomed up when you got pregnant, they now need to slowly journey back. The result can be a bumpy and uncomfortable emotional experience.
  • The surgical wound across your tummy needs to be healed enough to hold, and not split open, under increased pressure.

Building Intimacy After a C Section

sex after a c-section 3
{Photo by Aarmono}
There are many other ways you can build intimacy with your spouse during this time of abstinence.

Use this time to improve your communication skills with each other. Talk about your new family, and all the changes you have and will experience. Share your dreams for your growing family with each other.

If you aren't already, become best friends. Marriages with friendships ride out the storms of parenthood and life in general better than marriages based on just physical attraction. Both are equally important.

Both of you will be tired as dogs in those weeks before sexual intimacy can begin again. Make an effort to praise and serve one another.

From folding laundry to making dinner, any act of service should be pointed out and verbally appreciated.

By building a strong foundation of mutual service and kindness, your return to love making will be more meaningful and more exhilarating that it was before.

This time of physical separation should build up the relationship you already have. Sex is a beautiful and wonderful thing, but when added to an already vibrant personal connection, it moves into the realm of cosmic wonderment.

Considering
Your Breasts

The experience of "surprise let-down" is common among breastfeeding mothers.

Unfortunately, sometimes it comes with really bad timing. And I do mean really bad timing.

Once you've been given approval to have sex, keep your bra and breast pads in place while making love.

Get more breastfeeding
tips here.

Other than emotional deposits, you can make physical deposits into intimacy. Sex isn't the only intimate gesture we have been given. If that were the only way we could communicate tenderness, what would separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom?

Be sensitive to that fact that your husband does have needs beyond mere hand holding. (In fact, so do you!) Be creative on how to address, meet, and serve those other physical needs.

Other Suggestions on Building Intimacy
When You Can't Make Love

Try these tips to connect meaningfully with your spouse when the pleasure of making love is temporarily denied.
  • Cuddle on the couch while watching a movie
  • Go on a date to a nice restaurant and talk about things he's interested in (yes, that may mean football) and avoid talking about the baby.
  • Give (and receive) your "first kisses"
  • Offer more back and foot massages
  • Hold hands as much as possible (even in the car)

These little things go a long way toward filling that gap (and reward your husband's loving patience to have sex after a C section).


How Long Must You Wait Before Having Sex?

sex after a c section 2
{Photo by Francesco Rachello}

Most doctors recommend waiting six weeks at least before attempting sex after a C section. This approval will be made by your doctor at your six week post partum follow up appointment.

When you begin physical intimacies again, use those comfortable positions after a c-section that don't require any pressure on your stomach for the first month or so. The added pressure may cause discomfort and "ruin the moment."

If you feel pain in your abdomen at any time during sex after a C section, stop and wait a few days before trying again. If you see that your scar has begun to split open again, make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as possible. Failure to do so will increase your chances of getting an infection.

Even though you did not deliver vaginally, there is still a possibility of intercourse pain after your c-section. This is due to your fluctuating hormones. Hormones in your body help to send messages for lubrication in your vagina so you can be moist enough for an orgasm. Until you feel you are beginning to self-lubricate once again, consider purchasing a water-based lubricant like KY Jelly to help.


sex after a c section 1
{Photo by Francesco Rachello}

Feeling Beautiful Again

Once you have the approval to have sex after a C section, many women feel fear about being naked again in front of their husband.

Chances are your body has changed since before it was pregnant. At very least, you have a new scar sporting on your tummy. At most, you've gained a few pounds. Share these fears with your husband.

Don't rob him the enjoyment of seeing you completely nude. Besides, what can be more beautiful than the mother of his children!

Instead, compromise by using enough light enough for you to be comfortable, and for him to enjoy his "prize". After all, he has waited patiently for sex after a c section!


Hints to Build-up Your Confidence

Being naked in your new post-baby body can be a difficult adjustment. Here are some hints to help provide the confidence you need to relax and relish making love with your husband.

  • Choose lingerie that is comfortable and covers areas you are most uneasy about showing.
  • If you're self-conscious about your scar, purchase intimates that enhance your motherly breasts, but cover your tummy.
  • If it's your rounded thighs that concern you, purchase a long silk negligee that enhances your wavy form.
  • Put on some nice-smelling lotion and makeup and your confidence will soar (especially at seeing his pleased face!).
Build up your confidence and your body at the same time. Earth Mama Angel Baby has an amazing collection of organic sprays, lotions, and creams that not only make you feel incredibly sexy, but speed up recovery as well. Your body has finished a great (but exhausting) work. Reward it with some soul-soothing, body-healing creams and lotions.

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Having sex after a C section will be just as wonderful (if not more) than it was before you delivered.

I know it's hard to wait the 6 weeks (it will be even harder for him), but abstinence will make your heart grow fonder. In fact, by letting your body heal, you'll have something to look forward to.

All the photos on this page can be found at www.flickr.com and were used
according to licensing requirements.

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