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The Merry Mother Newsletter: A Latte for Your Soul
No matter how perfect you are (or think you are), as a mother, you will eventually have a day that shakes you to your core.
You're
so angry, so exhausted, so overwhelmed, so ready to quit that even a Starbucks run does nothing.
That's where The Merry Mother steps in.
Heather's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
My first outing as a mother of three was, I think, one of Dante's levels of hell.
It was 5 degrees out. It started with a "quick" stop at a local drugstore (I'm withholding the name, you'll understand why in a minute), one week after Bella was born. With two kids and a cumbersome infant car seat in tow, I lumbered inside to
pick up a few things. After guiding my kids through the store (No candy...no toys... etc.), a somewhat rude employee checked me out.
Flustered, I
pushed the cart out to the car. After getting all three into the van, I looked into the cart and saw...an unpurchased bottle of baby shampoo.
{Photo by OutoftheBox27}
Okay, pop quiz. What are my options here?
- Option A: Get all three kids out again (remember it's 5 degrees out), go in and pay, be late to the doctor, and then be late to Cameron's office party
(where they were waiting to see Bella).
- Option B: Return the bottle and try to make this "quick" stop again tomorrow.
- Option C: Block out what I was doing and throw the gosh-darn shampoo into the van before I feel the first pang of guilt.
(sigh...) Guess what I chose? Ding! Ding! Ding! You are correct, sir!
Yes. I shoplifted. (I can't believe I'm confessing this...I feel horrible...)
But that was just the beginning. At the doctor's office, Bella had 2 massive poops, and since I hadn't packed a diaper bag in three years,
I ran out of diapers and didn't have a change of clothes (of course, it went up her back.) My infant now smelled like crap. Literally.
Then, they decided to perform a bilirubin test on Bella (where they prick her
heel) to test for jaundice. She screamed (not kidding) for 15 minutes (I timed it). The older kids fought. I cried.
When they were finally finished, I loaded all the kids into the van, ignored cries of "I'm hungry", "I'm tired", resigned
to show up 30 minutes late to Cameron's office party.
I turned the key. Nothing happened. I was tempted to bang my head against the steering wheel.
I had forgotten my cell phone (surprise, surprise). Since the entire company was gathered for the party, no one
was picking up the phone. The doctor's office was full of women, and no one, including myself, knew had to jump a car.
(Sad, pathetic, yet true...)
A nurse's husband kindly drove up, and after 5 tries, and 30 more minutes, the van finally started. Naturally, I was in no mood for whining,
so when my 3-year-old refused to stay silent at Mommy's controlled, yet firm insistance, I completely lost my temper.
Even Bella stopped screaming. Probably scared spitless at this newly-revealed maniac side of Mommy.
After Cameron came home and I had a good cry (post-partum, anyone?), I managed to squeak out an apology to my precious
girls (who also apologized). Was this my new life? Is this what I had signed up for?
And, wonderfully, at that moment a friend called. After I shared my terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day, she giggled (very unthoughtful of her ;-),
and then we were both laughing. She shared her own worst-ever day, and later brought me some infant shampoo. (hardy har har...)
That was just what I needed. I needed to be reminded that all moms have days like this. Even moms with so-called baby websites.
Even better, I realized later that I would continually be haunted by this day. It was the last day I had my van keys. They have disappeared forever.
We are now a one-set family.
Merry Mothers Make Merry Babies
At my moment of insanity, I needed a good laugh. I needed to be reminded that I really can be the mother these girls need.
That's what I hope the Merry Mother can do for you. Give you good information, yes, but also provide a hearty laugh and a compassionate
hug on those days. Being a mom is the hardest, most self-sacrificing job in the world. Sometimes we need a little pep-talk to keep us going.
As great as the occasionally pep-talk is, it's not enough. Besides encouragement, I want The Merry Mother to have helpful articles,
thoughtful advice (provided by more than just me), and other goodies.
I've been writing The Merry Mother for two years now, and gathered over a thousand friends. And since I'd love to have more, here
are a few more of the reasons I think you should subscribe.
Why You Should Become a Merry Mother
- It's free, and only comes out every few weeks. Maximum number of issues every month? Two.
- It's been honored in prestigious websites like EzineFinder.com, BestEzines.com, The Ezine Directory, and others...
- It provides extra coupon announcements and special reader-only sales that don't get on my Baby Coupons page.
(Like the free nursing cover coupon code from
Uddercovers.)
- It features helpful articles on topics you request. (If it's not helpful...why read it?)
- It notifies you of all recent baby product recalls and provides access to my Recall Reports, that share details and pictures on all
recalls affecting your infant.
Here's a list of all the reports I give you access to: cribs, playpens, bassinets, bath time products, formula, baby food, bedding, furniture,
bouncers, car seats, carriers and slings, clothes and shoes, high chairs, infant medications, nursing equipment, pacifiers and teethers, strollers,
swings, walkers, and toys, toys, and more toys.
- You're given the solemn responsibility to cast the final votes in several contests. (Like the annual
Halloween Baby Contest.)
- Occasionally I throw in contests and sweeps to keep things interesting. Naturally, these contests are for
Merry Moms only!
- Every now and then expect to see updates on the latest scientific studies or news pertaining to the health and well-being of your baby.

Still Not Sure? How About Some Shameless Bribes?
Because I'm not above bribing my friends, I'll offer you some free eBooks to sweeten the deal.
- The Infant Milestone Marker ~ provides a list of your baby's milestones so you can track his progress.
- The Safest Home on the Block Checklist ~ I love checklists. This one makes
babyproofing simple.
- The Affiliate Master's Course ~ Don't know what an affiliate is? Either did I. Read it anyway, it's the best way to
make money on the Internet 24/7. (Hint: It's what started this site, which brings in extra money every month and lets me stay home with my kids.)
- The Work At Home Mom's Guide to a Successful Online Business ~ I didn't write it, but found it immensely helpful in
starting my work-at-home venture.
Yes, I'm fully aware you can get the goodies and then unsubscribe (a link is provided in every issue, just in case). But I'm betting you'll like
what you get and will stick around a while.
Sooo...the subscribe form is to the right (as if you could miss it!). Sign up and give The Merry Mother a try.
Happy reading!
P.S. Oh yeah. A word about Spam. I HATE SPAM. (picture me shouting)
It's annoying and frustrating (No, I don't want a deal on Viagra!)
I've posted my privacy policy here on the site so there's no confusion.
Your email is only used to receive issues of The
Merry Mother. That's it.
P.P.S. My subscribe form uses javascript. If your computer won't let you view javascript and you can't see the sign-up form, contact me and I'll subscribe you by hand (talk about customer
service!)
The photo on the Merry Mother ebook cover was taken by Nico Maessen. You can view his other stunning photographs
by clicking here.
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