My Advice About Caring for Babies

What's the most important advice about caring for babies? Anyone can change a diaper or feed a bottle, but a mother is called to care for her baby in a unique and specific way.

It is extremely easy, I think, for a mother to love her baby. But sometimes it's not so easy to care for that baby.

Caring is an mental decision you make
to physically manifest your emotional love. (whew!)

I care for her by getting up in the middle of the night to give her food. That's hard! I'm tired! But by continually providing that care, by disciplining myself to give it, she grows to understand that I love her...and the bonding begins. This advice about caring for babies is what makes the terms "mother" and "father" unique.

Without realizing it, you actually begin caring for your baby in pregnancy.

You avoided certain favorite foods, refrained from alcohol, and tried to get enough sleep. Her birth changes relatively little. Avoiding late-night outings, preparing healthy first foods, and getting up at 3:00 am, are all sacrifices that are sometimes difficult, yet necessary to make.

Elena's precious smile is my reward
for giving her the care she needs.

Even Mothers Need Their Mothers

How could I have missed this important skill! (I didn't consider that this was practically a stranger, and that I needed time to get to know her, just like in any relationship.) I was panicked. "If I can't handle her now, how will survive toddlerdom or (terror of terrors) teenagehood?"

For years later, her advice about caring for babies still encourages me:

Always remember that God chose you as this baby's mother. There is no one else in the world better equipped to do this than you. You are the perfect mother for her.

Before I could puff out my motherly chest, she added,

Every day you have to choose to be the mother you know your baby needs.

This may sound ridiculously simple to you. It is ridiculously simple. But have you actually thought about it? Have you considered what you can do today to make that choice?

I'll confess: I don't always choose to do that. Sometimes I shout. Sometimes I have to sit in the bathroom a while, calming down. I make mistakes - and so will you.

Perfection is not the goal. The goal is to keep moving up the mountain. Keep working to balance sacrifice and celebration.

• Perhaps that means letting the dishes go and playing.

• Or perhaps that means doing the dishes instead of playing. (A clean house keeps your baby healthy, happy, and safe.)

{Photo by Nico Maessen}

Take this advice about caring for babies to heart: seek to balance your life between nourishing relationships and keeping responsibilities.

I have a bachelor's degree in Social Work. Sadly, I've seen many hurting children whose mothers didn't understand that choice (and they weren't all lower income families, by the way).

Just because you had a baby doesn't make you a mother. Caring for that baby makes you the mother. I've seen foster and adoptive mothers take troubled children and crack babies and turn them into loving children and thriving babies.

You can't continue to give and give without needing to fill up occasionally.

However, make sure occasionally doesn't turn into every-hour. Learn how to balance infant care and mommy care.

That balance won't look like 50/50. Your infant simply has more needs than you do. Shoot for 80/20.

He won't be so needy forever, but for right now that extra sacrifice is necessary for his longer-term well-being.

The best advice about caring for babies is to choose to put their needs above your own.

Give your infant the proverbial piece of pie, and keep the crumbs for yourself.

Don't forget to take those crumbs! They, however small, will still give you the sustenance you need to continue providing the tender loving care only a mother can give.

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